3/4 Kings of Leon

The things she'll do to show cleavage.

"Sorry 4th King of Leon. Had to cut your face out so I could rub it in my flat skinny friends' faces that I have huge boobs."

It happens. People have done worse to show a little boobage...Janet anyone?

Spotted at Jiffy Lube Live.

Capri Pants- STILL Not Unisex

STILL NO. NEVER. WRONG.

Which way to the gym?

OK dude, you're at a concert, a nighttime concert at that, not the beach.

Homeboy trucked back and forth, strutting his best meathead obviously very proud of the goodies he was sharing with the crowd. Problem for him- he came alone, watched the concert alone and left alone.

Maybe your Mr. Universe thing isn't working buddy. If you find yourself in a situation again where you are the only person without your shirt on, if you aren't getting paid to be topless, go ahead and put your shirt back on.

Spotted at Jiffy Lube Live.

Pink-Orange People Eater

Everyone reaches a point where your figure just flat out isn't what it used to be. I get it. But once you reach that point, you should wear black, avoid stripes or only go out at night.

What you should absolutely NEVER do is dress like an Easter meets Halloween Pink-Orange People Eater. You see, you want to draw LESS attention to yourself, not MORE attention.

Spotted at Capitol Hill.

What yo name is?

Lets just get this out of the way. Jewelry with your name in it is cheesy and cheap. Big hoop earrings that read "Sarah" really say "Classless."

The sole redeeming value of jewelry with your name in it is you can remove it. To take things a step further and shave half your head and carve your name into your head is definitely worse than the cheap jewelry.

But it is just shy of the ultimate- tattooing ones name on your body.

Spotted near Logan Circle.

Capri pants- Not Unisex

Ok guys, I'm going to make this one easy for you. Capri pants, you know the ones your mom wears to church in the spring or the ones that cute little yoga instructor wears that bare the ankle and lower calf? Well they are just for WOMEN. DO NOT WEAR. NEVER OK.

There it is. Black and white. Cut and dry.

Spotted at Starbucks in Tenley Town.

Not Part of a Well-Balanced Outfit

Dear Lady in Black,

Really?

Please direct your attention to the other two women in this picture. All three women are part of the morning work commute. All three women have on flat-bottomed shoes that make the commute a little easier on the feet than say heels. But the two other women also carry large bags, that more likely than not, are carrying footwear more appropriate for the workplace than running shoes or sandals. Now look at the Lady in Black. Homegirl DOES NOT have shoes inside her purse. She actually thinks this is a COMPLETE outfit. Honey, no. No.

Maybe she keeps her shoes at work and switches then. Well does that means she wears the same ones every single day? Or does she have multiple pairs? If she does, how much of her workspace is dedicated to footwear? It all just leads to too many questions and unsatisfactory explanations.

Lady in Black, Step up your shoe game.

Spotted at Thomas Circle.