Not Part of a Well-Balanced Outfit

Dear Lady in Black,

Really?

Please direct your attention to the other two women in this picture. All three women are part of the morning work commute. All three women have on flat-bottomed shoes that make the commute a little easier on the feet than say heels. But the two other women also carry large bags, that more likely than not, are carrying footwear more appropriate for the workplace than running shoes or sandals. Now look at the Lady in Black. Homegirl DOES NOT have shoes inside her purse. She actually thinks this is a COMPLETE outfit. Honey, no. No.

Maybe she keeps her shoes at work and switches then. Well does that means she wears the same ones every single day? Or does she have multiple pairs? If she does, how much of her workspace is dedicated to footwear? It all just leads to too many questions and unsatisfactory explanations.

Lady in Black, Step up your shoe game.

Spotted at Thomas Circle.

Tie-DIE

Rule of LIFE- Whenever an entire family wears the same thing out and about, it is ALWAYS a disaster. It is NEVER ok. NEVER. When that happens to include Tie-Dye, well, you've managed to make it even worse. They say there arent different levels of sin. Well, Exhibit A. Mr and Mrs Hippie- if you want to dress like that, have the common courtesy not to dag your child into it. Allow her a fair shake in life.

Please note that the mom is wearing a Tie-Dye shirt with a printed skirt of similar colors. Throwing a sweater over your shoulders trying to 'prep' it up fools no one. Again, NEVER ok. NEVER.

Spotted near Thomas Circle.

This is not Barnes & Noble

Chica, there is a reason CVS doesn't put chairs in the magazine aisle. This is not Barnes & Noble. And people wonder why the worlds largest book retailer is for sale. Honey, get off the ground. At least have the dignity and self-respect to read your smut news on your feet.

Spotted at CVS on P ST NW.

Olivia, is that you?

There are two acceptable reasons to be dressed like this- remaking Olivia Newton-John's Physical or a jazzercize-themed party. I fear he is taking part in neither. This is just not ok. At LEAST he color coordinated the whole effort. But its still a sin.

Spotted on 14th ST NW.

Do. Not. Resurrect.

Normally its sad when something is added to the endangered list. The day the fanny pack joined was not one such time. Not only did this man WEAR his fanny pack but he was constantly in and out of it. He really seemed to be getting some good use out of it. He was pulling his phone in and out non-stop. He was pretty good at pretending to text with someone. I wonder how it works when you are texting yourself? Clearly that's what was happening here. Either that or he was texting someone that he's never actually met. OMG...He's probably one of those people who posts pictures of attractive normal people online and chats with unsuspecting schleps! AGH!

Spotted at AMTRAK Station.

Urban Cowboy

There's just so much going on here. The all black track suit is a little much in the 100 degree heat. And then on top of that he's wearing gloves. The cherry on top, literally on top, is the straw cowboy hat. Its just such a rando mixture. The best part of it all- he wears this ALL THE TIME. Ive seen him on several occassions.

Spotted at Thomas Circle.

STREET Begger

Homeboy takes begging on the STREET to whole new levels. He was walking down the middle of the street holding his cup out as cars whizzed past in both directions. I appreciate you thinking outside the box brother but really? Do you expect cars to stop and hold up traffic to donate to you? Its no mystery as to why your cup is empty. At least wait until they are stopped at the light to ask for money. Not that I am advocating begging- find a way to make ends meet like honest Americans all across the country who aren't begging, but rather do work for their paychecks.

Spotted at McPherson Square.

Time to let it go...a LONG time ago

I can overlook a printed belt. Even when that printed belt has White Bengal Tigers and flames going all the way around. I can overlook this...if you are under 12 years old! But if you are at least 40 and find yourself alone at the bar while donning such 'fashion,' re-evaluate your life decisions. When I see you with that belt at your age I instantly think you shouldn't be allowed near children. Let's try to shop in the adult section next time you visit Ross. I know its a little more expensive but you might not be alone forever if you stop dressing like a rapist.

Spotted at Commissary.

Beamer, Benz, or Bentley

Yes. That is the song that my cab driver was blasting when I hopped in. Didn't phase me until I realized he could be my grandfather on my dad's side. Really? Not familiar with that particular musical masterpiece? Consider yourself lucky. There's a reason it didn't crack the Hot 100 top 40.

Spotted near Dupont Circle.

More of THIS, Please

I need to see more of this. There is so much right about this. One, homegirl is playing Tennis. One of my least favorite things about DC is the lack of Tennis courts. Two, look at the size of that bag compared to her! That is dedication. LOVING this and LOVING her. Keep it up pint sized tennis diva. Bravo!

Spotted at Thomas Circle.